Convent grounds in Lebanon (Photo: Emily O
What, then, am I, my God? What is my nature?
A life that is ever varying, full of change, and of immense power…
This week in Beirut, my students and I have been reading Saint Augustine’s Confessions to contemplate the nature of evil, the quest for truth, and the essence of divine love. According to St. Augustine, our transgressions and attachment to the material world are driven by our desire to “gain,” and our “fear of losing.” As a result, our habituation to the overriding power of our desires keep us from reaching the “heights.” As St. Augustine puts it, “It is a disease of the mind, which does not wholly rise to the heights where it is lifted by the truth, because it is weighed down by habit.”
I have learnt to love you late, Beauty at once so ancient and so new! I have learnt to love you late! You were within me, and I was in the world outside myself. I searched for you outside myself and, disfigured as I was, I fell upon the lovely things of your creation. You were with me, but I was not with you. The beautiful things of this world kept me far from you and yet, if they had not been in you, they would have had no being at all. You called me: you cried aloud to me; you broke my barrier of deafness. You shone upon me; your radiance enveloped me; you put my blindness to flight. You shed your fragrance about me; I drew breath and now I gasp for your sweet scent. I tasted you, and now I hunger and thirst for you. You touched me, and I am inflamed with love of your peace…
— St. Augustine
